Attack of the Trojans

The ivory cloak of vanity has been torn

Without any hint of impediment is seen

An invisible worm that corrupts one’s soul

It is, by which, the conscience is unworthy.

This soul pondered the things came to pass

How was the imprisoned set free?

Devoid of any glimpse of committed treachery

The gate was unguarded, the fortress not ready.

The defenses were built out of sheer despise

An old tactic as old as the gods of thunder and wars

The enemies rejoiced behold the naked eye

No more wonders to be told as this budding spirit died.

 

 

 

Slave’s Lamentation

Let me be free from this bondage

Open the cage where I am in

Allow me to dance with the gentle breeze

And experience the wind under my wings

 

Spare me from a life full of tears

An unending cycle of suffering and pain

Break the glass, break the spell

Contradict the curse, unlock the chain

 

Please save me before I run out of breath

Rescue me before the earth moves and shakes

Youthfulness would be gone in just a glimpse

And this heart would pump just for its sake

 

This is my call for so long

I am waiting patiently for your action

Hoping you would set your feet off your throne

Hold my hand and take me where I belong

 

 

 

 

 

Ain’t no Fairytale

The princess was treading carefully towards the horizon
with no map nor compass on her hand.
She landed on a muddy ground, a waist-deep curse on her part.
Then, a horseman came along and saved her from the pit where she was.

She offered him money as a reward of his kindness
And she offered him to stay in her palace.
But the horseman just stared blankly on her broken crown.
He did not speak when the princess asked him what he wants.

A long gap of silence made the princess impatient.
She squinted and frowned as she examined his soft face.
She saw a royal badge on his left chest and a sword on his waist.
Her eyed sparkled,”My long wait is over”, she uttered

An annoying sound broke all the stillness,
and she wondered why there’s a song in the forest.
The princess rubbed her eyes and saw herself in a familiar place .
Oh, a tiny mean thing was ringing…
with options to stop or to snooze for 10 more minutes.

 

Van Gogh’s Lover

At the coffee shop,
We talked.
We laughed.
She cried.

At the library,
We read.
We wrote.
She panted.

At the party,
We danced.
We sang.
She left.

She couldn’t wait to be with him.
She was heading at the end of the road
and as she looked back
we saw her smile.
we heard her laughter…

But then again, she cried, she panted and she left.
As she looked back, the  world drifted us apart.
And from afar, she saw us in red and black
and we saw her in pink and gray.

We Like It Sweet: The Filipino Way of Cooking Spaghetti

Spaghetti is a very popular dish in the Philippines. It may sound Italian but almost all Filipinos are fanatics of this pasta. It has gotten its way on every restaurant and fast food menu. McDonald’s, Wendy’s and KFC have their own style of Pinoy spaghetti. Children’s parties will never take this item out of their list. Small eateries called “carinderias” offer spaghetti, and in fact, it is one of the bestsellers. It is definitely one of the favourite comfort food in the country-as it is both enjoyed by kids and adults.

As I grew up and had the chance to taste a variety of recipes, I often wonder why the spaghetti I have known for years does not taste like the REAL spaghetti. (If you are a non-Filipino and had tasted it, I bet you know what I’m saying.) Italian style has a little sour taste compared to ours which is sweet. Surprising it may seem, but we Pinoys, put a large amount of banana ketchup and sugar. In a sauce pan, we combine tomato sauce; water; pork or beef stock; and banana ketchup. We bring it to a boil and add sugar until the sourness of the tomato sauce disappears. Every Filipino has different variations of cooking this pasta, but will still yield the same result–a sweet styled spaghetti.

I am a Filipino and since I am accustomed to its taste, I find it mouth-watering and very delicious. Everytime I order spaghetti, I always look for the sweet blend playing on my taste buds, otherwise, I would say, “My aunt’s spaghetti is better than this.”

My curiosity climbed to its highest, thus, forcing me to write a blog about it and so as to gather some comments about the Filipino spaghetti. I would like to hear from my non-Filipino readers if they had a chance to eat it and what was their impression with the first time they tasted the Pinoy-style pasta. I also wish to hear something from my fellowmen since I don’t have any idea if there’s any Filipino out there like me who also wonders why we cook in a way dietitians won’t suggest it to a diabetic patient…as Filipinos like it SWEET

Lady With A Lamp’s Diary

Two and a half years… Wow, I couldn’t imagine I would last that long in PICU. The first time I landed my foot on PICU floor and saw the intubated patients resembling Christmas trees because they were ornamented with 5 or more intravenous fluids and drips , I would like to talk to my head nurse and say, “I am so sorry Ma’am, I changed my mind, I don’t wanna be here anymore.” And yet, it’s been 912 days since that day and I am still there gliding my rubber soles happily on the toxic floor.                                                                    

Looking back on those bittersweet memories brings me shivers and tears.  I could still remember the moments I cried during patient endorsement. I could still recite the remarks and comments my senior nurses had before me when I was a newbie. I could still count the times I submitted the very much-avoided Incident Reports, the times I bumped into the oxygen tanks and the times I splashed the blood products either on the floor or on the bedside.  During those days, I clearly believed that PICU was an extension of hell. What made me stay there was a big question mark for me.

I have all the reasons to resign. First, I can’t enjoy holidays. While all of my family members are celebrating Christmas and New Year, it is either I am sleeping (from night shift) or I am busy working. Second, I can’t go all-the-way with the latest hair treatments. I have to convince myself that I am satisfied my unruly straight hair . Hair rebonding spells maintenance. Pigtail and cap will surely ruin the chemical’s masterpiece. Third, nursing itself is a tedious task. It requires physical, mental and emotional aptitude. Like for example, the nurse is assigned to take care of 2 intubated patients. She needs to monitor vital signs every hour; monitor intake and output every hour; suction secretions every hour and as needed; administer all due medications; feed the patients as ordered; carry out all illegible and legible doctor’s orders; run the labs; talk to relatives and attend the patients’ special needs. Everything must be done with accuracy.  Everything should be squeezed in an 8-hr shift. Doctor’s orders should be carried out as soon as possible. You cannot say,” I have to go home now,my shift is over, can I do that tomorrow?” In addition to the typical routines, nurses face DILEMMA – a world full of ethical and moral issues.

What keeps me going is a question I cannot answer. It could be the passion to help those in need or the fulfillment I am getting after a tiring shift… I am not very sure of it. Yet, there is one I thing I believe, and that is no matter how I dislike the world where I am in, and no matter how long my whining is – I could not change the fact that at the end of the day, I am a Registered Nurse and I am Born to Care…

Between God and Me

At some point where my faith hit rock bottom
I started to doubt the power of The Creator
On the verge of the circumstances that came along
I wondered if He was still sitting on His throne

As I saw the babies crying in agony and pain.
As I witnessed a number of kids who can’t play
As I bumped a hungry helpless child on the street
I wondered if God could still tolerate all these

I began to question His omniscient power
He said He already knows what follows a disaster
He stated He could stop the storm if He wishes
Then why He allowed the winds to blow us in pieces

It is so true that when you reached the ground
There is no other way but to go upward
I took a breath and cleared out my mind
as the depressing thoughts leave me behind

Then, I remembered the persons in the Bible
Stories that were told to me when I was small
Of how Goliath was struck down by a little boy
Of how the proud walls of Jericho were torn

It is so arrogant of me to question His thoughts
Who am I in this universe to contest His works
I am just tiny little being among His creations
I should be grateful I am still living in this world

Your intelligence is beyond my comprehension
as You can make the wise person a fool
For Your thoughts and power are beyond us all
as we see a dot and You see the whole picture

 

 

 

 

Quiet Thought

How far can this futile thought go?

Will it ever find a way to reach your door?

Does it have a power to travel towards you?

And relay the message I am dying to tell you?

You were the man I once loved

I was scared, though, to say it out loud.

You were the one I cherished at night

I did adore you with all of my heart.

My thought returned to where it once was

It did not fly up to the heavens above.

The angels threw it back as it tried to go up

It landed on my desk and I began to write.

Past is past and we can never go back

The memory we had is a scene with no sounds.

Moving on is what the present is all about

And our so-called future vanished without a mark.

Who’s Weird?

Take a look at this…

A virgin at forty. Isn’t it shocking to hear someone has never had a sense of heaven at that age? I have no idea what would your reaction be when you first heard that phrase. But I could somehow guess that you would doubt what that person has said. In this age of ultra liberals, virgins are categorized as endangered species.

A city boy who never been into bars, pubs and clubs. Most teenagers and young adults love social places. They would like to be in a place where there is nothing but FUN. Going to discos are one of the most common diversions in the city. It is very unlikely to hear that a lad or gal who grew up in a city never had a chance to step in a place where lights shine the brightest.

A lady who removed dating out of her vocabulary. It feels so good to be loved and be in love. It sounds so anti-social to hear someone isn’t dating at all. But I know you would believe me that there are people who can go beyond extremes and beat the odds. Probably, she took the advice of Joshua Harris’ literally, and that is to KISS DATING GOODBYE.

I am not judging these persons nor do I condemn them for choosing that way of life. These persons are humans like us who established their own sense of identity and morality, be it against the world’s standards. And with that, I simply salute them.

I salute them for their courage to oppose world. They are like fishes swimming against the flow of water. While everybody is trying to be pleasing to all eyes, they do not live according to people’s approval. I must say, they have been raised with a stricter SUPEREGO. Sigmund Freud coined the term to address the third part of mentality which is our conscience. It is where all our morals, ethics and ideas are deep-seated.

It is hard to be like them. It is difficult to be different. It takes courage.

 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. (Romans 12:2)

 

Don’t Blame Me, Blame Your Mind

Have u ever been a position where people blame you for something you know nothing about? And worst of all, you have been humiliated by their accusations with no enough basis - to the point you almost believe that it is really your fault. How unfortunate that you take all the blame, where in fact, you are as innocent as a tinny little bird that chirps.

Human mind is wonderfully made by God. If you know the anatomy our brains, you would be amazed how our tiny coconut works. However, human thoughts have been corrupted in time. Our brain is like a big vacuum. It absorbs everything. It is something that can be influenced and distorted easily. Can you imagine how dirty our minds are? Believe it or not, we could not count the number of times we slipped away with our thoughts. We can choose what dress to wear or what food we like to eat, but we are so poor in controlling the things that enter our minds. We become fearful if we think of scary things, we become nervous when we worry too much, and we become glad if we remember happy memories. We become what we think. If you are imagining of good things, you will turn out good; and if you are reflecting on evil thoughts, you’ll be a monster.

Our minds can be deceiving. The Bible tells us in Jeremiah 17:9,” The heart (mind) is deceitful above all things and beyond cure.” Our mind is our heart. As we all know, the heart is nothing but a big chunk of muscle that pumps blood. It is in our brains where simple and complex processes happen. Our brains are capable of controlling our mindset and our behaviour toward others. If you THINK that person is saying something behind your back (though with no logical basis), you would BELIEVE that person is really a back fighter, and from the moment you believe that he is such, your BEHAVIOR towards that person will never be the same. Sometimes or maybe most of the time, what we think is wrong and what we feel is unjustifiable.

Everything starts with a thought and with that thought, you can do numerous things. The way you think makes all the difference. You are the caretaker of your own mind. Don’t let your mind destroy you because it could destroy someone else’s life, too.

For your greatest tormentor is not me nor them… but your MIND.